Pebbles in the Road
I'm getting close to deployment time again and yesterday it just started to feel like the whole situation was starting to come down on me.
Lots of worry about things I haven't got done around the house, along with college classes and I'm worried about how the family is going to be. No this isn't the first time I've been away for long stretches but it's getting old quick.Going to work everyday fearing that the next time a flight chief talks might mean 6 months away. Keeping strong can be a real challenge and keeping faith even harder cause I know there is nothing in my power to stop these things and it's part of carrying the load.
I'm far from being who I want to be. I still face the challenges I faced before all this and sometimes I fall, and sometimes I fall a lot.
It's not something I am not proud of and it bothers me all the time. Putting myself aside and being His isn't easy. For the last few hundred years Christians here have had it pretty slack. How often are we faced with swords of hate telling you to renounce Christ? Words of hate and lack of faith are our challenge and our personal inhibitions are our enemy. I can stand against persecution but can I stand against my personal sins?
I don't stand here alone.