Hurt
For the last 18 years of my life I have been living a life that was never truly mine. Circumstances not in my control forced me to make compromising choices that I would have never had made before. 18 years of my life was not my own. Every breath I took, ever word I spoke, every step I made, everything that I did was in vein. New truth came to light and I am having to deal with what could have been and what is now. Conflicts in what I have and what I need. The Bible tells me to push forward and not look back. The world tells me nothing. My heart tells me it's in pain. A thousand voices in my head. Peace is no where to be found. Why would God let such innocence be twisted? Why would He let something I devoted, entirely to him, to be mislead? I lived for His Glory and His Honor. I obeyed His Law and His Commandments because I wanted everything to come to be blessed. Stolen and pulled right out of my hands, my entire life.
My God. My Creator. My Protector. My Judge. Hear and feel the pain in my heart. Guide me because I am lost. Guide and Protect those who are involved.
This is a huge life altering moment for me. No joke. This is very real and that is how my heart feels right now. Hurt.
As a aircraft mechanic I look at it like this:
A pilot is flying important long trek to the other side of the world. Half way through the flight the crew chief comes onto the flight deck and tells him, "Sir, we never filled up with fuel and the tanks have been bone dry most of the flight". Of course the pilot is going to freak right out (as I am). But for some reason the aircraft (my life) never looses power and keeps on chugging along.
The problem that I am facing is a huge conflict. How do the choices and plans we make compare in respect to the plans God has?
I know what God's plan was. I know what God told me. I heard him very clearly. But a person made a choice that challenged that. Where I thought I had failed, I didn't. Now I wonder... what about God's plan?
Either way I pray that God's glory will be revealed and I will honor and praise him through this storm.
I will leave this open for moderated comment. Spam killed on sight.
Rose Colored Stain Glass Windows
The year was 1974 when the Christian band Petra was formed and that was also the year I was born. They are one of the greatest Christian bands to ever inspire me and I can honestly say Petra was a True Grit Band. In 1982 Bob Hartman wrote one song that rings very true to the message I wish the deliver. The song is called Rose Colored Stain Glass Windows. Here are the Lyrics and a link to this heart felt song.
Another sleepy Sunday, safe within the walls
Outside a dying world in desperation calls
But no one hears the cries or knows what they're about
The doors are locked within, or is it from without?
Looking through rose colored stained glass windows
Never allowing the world to come in
Seeing no evil and feeling no pain
Making the light as it comes from within so dim... so dimOut on your doorstep lay the masses in decay
Ignore them long enough, maybe they'll go away
When you think you have so much, you have so much to lose
You think you have no lack, when you're really destitute
There are few churches that actually reach out to anyone that don't enter their doors. So many people walk through life, even here in the United States, who have never heard of Jesus Christ or know what He is about. They live, suffer and die, hopeless and lost, always starving for love and compassion. All the while, people are growing old sitting in the pews ignoring the pain just beyond the walls. They think it's not their responsibility when the truth is...
They will have to answer to God for everything they ignored.
Why didn't you talk to your neighbor's son when all he wanted to know is someone cared? Why didn't you help out a coworker when it would have opened a door to him for Christ? You laughed at that poor drunk with holes in his shoes when all he needed was an encouraging word. People walk into church stuffing their sins deep into their pockets and pulling out their own personalized self righteous face. They think that the few dollars they put into the offering plate will fend off the flames of Hell and their songs will open the gates of Heaven. When all they are doing is lying to themselves and to those around them and it all tears away at the face of Christianity.It's no wonder religion is the joke of the world.
If you're comfortable being a two faced Christian you need to straighten up or get out. Pack up your things- turn around- and walk right out the doors of the church and don't look back. It's better for you to be a full fledged sinner than one who drags the innocent down with you by playing Christian. I see them every single day. Sunday school teachers who cuss at work and tell off color jokes. My God. Being Christian isn't a way of life, it IS LIFE!
You know what I am talking about and if you're living that, you know exactly what you need to do. Jesus Christ didn't die just for me or just for you. He died for all of us. God let Him pay for all our sins, willingly taking the pain and suffering off us and put it onto Himself. He didn't fake it. He didn't just say He did it. Christ really did suffer for you. You just have to accept it. Accept the life He offers you. Live the life He offers you. Give that life to others. Share your faults and humble yourself to those you harmed. It will be hard and the road will be tough because you lefts plenty of potholes on your path. Filling those holes and start sharing true grit Christianity and break down those Rose Color Stain Glass Windows.
Digging for Coal
"There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined.
Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore.
Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness.
Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft, in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from men he dangles and sways.
The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire; sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold.
No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon's eye has seen it.
Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there.
Man's hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains.
He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures.
He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light.
"But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell?
Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living.
The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.'
It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver.
It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires.
Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold.
Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies.
The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold.
"Where then does wisdom come from?
Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air.
Destruction and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'
God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters,
when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm,
then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.
And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "
Job 28
Defeating the Tower
I was raised in the Assembly of God Church and over the years I have been in several different churches of different faiths, Baptist, Church of Christ, Methodist, Catholic, Nazarene, Pentecostal, many types.
Unless my timing was horribly bad, or good depending on your motivations, I have found racial integration nearly nonexistent. What am I talking about you ask?
Before I go on I want you to know I am not being racially insensitive, I'm being real here. I harbor little to no prejudice against any race to my conscience knowledge. If I have any deeply hidden racial tendencies, I pray that I can see this so I can stop it.
Go to church Sunday morning and tell me how many Asian, Latino, East Indian, or African Americans are sitting in your congregation.
We preach equality. We preach brotherly love. And we preach "Rise up against prejudice!".
So why is there still racial tensions in God's Church?
I find it disturbing that we have voluntarily and unknowingly and sometimes knowingly allowed segregation to hold the church back. I know some people will try to support their feelings with "out of context" scripture from the Bible. The uneducated people will say the Bible talks about keeping slaves and staying away from other people. They will even point out scriptures for you of course out of context....
http://www.answering-christianity.com/slaves.htm
Where in the bible does it tell us to be separate but equal?
No Where.
The Bible only segregate people based on beliefs not by race. For example, Jewish people were forbidden from mixing with Gentiles, Believers from Nonbelievers. But what you might not understand is Jewish law makes a way for a person to become a Jew, which in all truth is more of a way of life rather than race. Sure a person can be born a Jew but a determined and sincere person can become a Jew by conversion. So when you look again at those scripture that supposedly claim to keep Anglo, Hispanic, Asian and African apart, is not promoting segregation at all but isolation from different religious beliefs.
On this same level many people feel the Bible supports slavery but don't be tricked you have been given scripture out of context once again.
The Bible is best known in it's King James version when in the 1500's the language was more romantic and sometimes lacking definition for current times. Even then the Bible had been translated many times, modernized, and adapted to the time at hand. So when racial tensions were high people seen the word slave in there they instantly assumed every one in the bible was a white man with a whip in one hand and a cross in the other.
The term "Slave" was given to anyone who was a servant and not necessarily taken into servitude against their will. Jesus Christ does not support slavery as we have come to understand slavery to be during the darkest times of our history.
Dr. Martin Luther King is quoted as saying "“Eleven o'clock Sunday morning is the most segregated hour in America"
This is undeniably true. So...
Mrs. Parks would you give up your seat... in this church?
Naked
What frightens you beyond all things?
Spiders? Heights? Closed up spaces? Clowns?
Or how about..
Being offended and disrespected by a dear friend?
Getting caught doing something that would shame the name of your family?
Your mother finding out your darkest secrets, from your worst time, when your in your weakest moment?
What is it that cuts you right to the bone?
Exceeding all things physical the emotional trauma will haunt you for eternity.
Put yourself in that moment. Put yourself in that moment. The one that shakes your spirit and brings you right down to your knees.
Now know this...
God was there all that time.
He saw every little selfish action you made.
He heard every little lie you told and every cuss word that left your mouth
He witnessed every act of hatred that you did to others and He saw every glimmer of lust in your eyes.
-Nothing you have ever done is hidden from him.
Even through all of this shame God still loves you. His own Son Jesus Christ loves you so very much that when you felt like nothing more than a lump of dirt He considers you priceless and willingly takes your sins upon Himself. When the world demands you pay for your faults Jesus Christ offers to pay for your spiritual debts. Christ alone takes those shames away where it really matters- in the eyes of the Father.
What good is my body to roam the world freely when my soul is suffering and in pain?
When my heart cries out who hears and comforts when I play it safe on the outside?
Now what is holding you back from giving yourself to him?
There is freedom in Christ when the chains of the world want to hold you down. Don't put it off any longer.